Today's verse~

"On the Day when their tongues and their hands and their legs shall bear witness against them as to what they were doing." [24: 24]

Aug 5, 2009

Meet the Silent Killer...AVM...even,,my own killer..

Assalamualaikum...
aku masih sihat seperti sedia kala..
sedang menjalani hidup yg boring kat rumah..
n melayani "pembunuh" aku..
yg masih duk diam2..
dlam kepala aku nih..
let's make it short..
okay,
let me introduce you'all..
here it is..
The Silent Killer
AVM
or
Arteriovenous Malformation.

DEFINITION : A tangle of abnormal blood vessels (arteries and veins).

in my case,
Cerebral AVM..

DEFINITION : a malformed collection of blood vessels within the brain, characterized by tangle(s) of veins and arteries.

in human population,
people suffers in the severe could be in ratio of
1 per 100,000 peoples..
that means,
between the lucky 100,000 people,
i'm the luckiest one..
yes,i am the luckiest..

trying not to be so formal..,??
ok..
biar aku citer lebih ckit..
nk lebih senang difahami,
saper2 yg masih ingat biology form 5,
in human body,
ade 3 salur darah : artery, vein, n capillary..
capillary menjadi penyambung antara vein and artery..
but in this severe cases,,
no capillaries exist at some particular place..
kirenye, ade kat satu kwasan salur darah dalam otak aku,
yg vein and artery nye bersambung terus..
that means,,
the flow of the blood will be faster and more pressure on it..
it might be burst..
then stroke..
then..
only God Knows..

erm..biar la aku citer aku punye history..
Starting in 2004, i'm in form2..i've got several headaches..
doctor just diagnosed normal migrain.
2005, i've got more..
sudden and severe headache, vomiting, blurred vision, one-sided weakness ,
a loss of touch sensation on one side of the body..(my case, Left side)
doktor syorkan CT Scan..

July 2005, CT Scan was performed on me..
Cak!! Segumpal urat darah terbelit2 kat kawasan tengah sbelah kiri otak aku..
AVM in the right parietal region
size : 4-5 cm cube.
Large..,that's what doctor said..

aku diberi ubat Epilim Chrono..
ubat untuk pesakit sawan.
knape aku kene mkn ubat ni?
nk elakkan daripada terjadinya sawan,,in case berlakunya haemorrhage (pendarahan)

then, my case was sent to HUSM Kubang Kerian for further treatment...

August 2005, MRI were done..

October 2005, lepas PMR, admitted to wad 3U,
Cerebral Angiography..
imaging,mcm xray la..
kejadian tu paling aku ingat..sakitnya,,Tuhan yg tau..aku masih ingat keadaan mase tu..
bayangkan aku dicucuk hidup2..dengan jarum yg besar dan panjang ke dalam peha..
tujuannye,,untuk reach urat darah yg paling besar..
then, 2 wires (rasenye) are inserted into my body via the "big hole" (jarum besar tu la)..
the wires travel to my brain through the veins..
a coloured dye was then injected..
this is the process to get the accurate size and shape of the 'thing'..
aku masih ingat aku menangis n menjerit kesakitan..
nurse yg tolong lap air mata..
sakitnya..mmg xleh nk bayangkan..
u should try it urself..haha..

May 2006, admitted again to wad 3U..
Embolisation

DEFINITION : occlusion of blood vessels with coils or particles or glue introduced by a radiographically guided catheter, is frequently used as an adjunct to either surgery or radiation treatment.

maksudnye, sumbat salur darah tempat kejadian tu dengan makhluk menyerupai gam, supaya darah x melalui kawasan gumpalan tu..

this procedure requires patient under general anaesthesia (bius am)..
ouh,thank God...
the procedure also like the angiograms,,but include the injection of the "gam" i've mentioned...
30% covered,,

July 2006,
Second Embolisation
50% embolised,,

August 2006,
Third Embolisation
60-70% embolised..

sepatutnya lepas tu kene buat Radiosurgery using Gamma Knife (Pisau X)
tapi aku postpone dulu sebab nak concentrate SPM.
lepas SPM,,still xbuat2...
on April 2008, appointment with doctor pakar,,
aku cancel skali lagi..
alasan,,masuk matrik..
habis matrik..i mean,
Now..
still xde jawapan dari aku
kenapa tibe2 aku keluarkan tntang bab ni??
sebab tibe2 symptom2 awal kerap sangat terjadi..
sudden and severe headache, vomiting, blurred vision, one-sided weakness ,
a loss of touch sensation on one side of the body..
mungkin sebab aku demam panas baru2 ni mungkin jadi terganggu..
tapi mak tengah risau..
bulan 10 ni dah nk fly..
adakah patut aku kembali ke HUSM?
wad 3U..,rumah no.2 aku..
Laser tu,,akan menutup semua salur darah yg menuju ke tempat kejadian..
tapi takkan terlepas dari beberapa side effects..
antaranya,
hilang ingatan...
it might be temporary,
or permanent..
sanggupkah aku jalani Radiography tu??
because the procedure also requires angiogram i've mentioned earlier..
sanggup ke aku nak hadapi fobia aku terhadap procedure tu skali lagi??
sanggup ke aku nak rasai kesakitan maha hebat tu skali lagi??
argh!!!
aku dalam dilema..
ape2 pun..aku tak nak tangguhkan study aku..
hati aku dah separuh ke sana (Mesir)
aku harap, aku akan dapat buat keputusan secepat mungkin..
time is running out..
the symptoms getting worse..
October is crawling nearer...
patut ke aku diamkan dulu?
or patutkah aku habiskan treatment dulu?

Inilah aku kalau korang semua masih belum kenal sepenuhnya..
inilah sebahagian daripada pengalaman hidup aku..
di sebalik senyuman n keceriaan yg aku tunjukkan,
di sebalik diamnye aku..

i'm suffering to this AVM..
the Silent Killer..
bila2 masa je dia akan pecah n mengalami pendarahan..
n then stroke
it may be fatal..

Only God Knows...


mane2 yg nk tau lebih lanjut tentang AVM,
or
thanks for concerning..

13 comments:

echa said...

kimmy syg~
be strong okay?
kim sgt kuat!
=)
opinion ocha,hbskn la treatment dulu
cne nk blja kalau sakit kn syg?
tp kim pk la mane baik utk kim
tny parents. .
wat solat istikharah
take care of urself okay. .
=)
will always pray for u insyaAllah

abG Pat said...

Assalamualaikum..
saje nk comment.
Takut abg dgr citer psl silent killer Kimmy tu. Walopun abg x kenal kimmy sngt psl x jd fasi ritu, abg pon nak bg sikit nasihat sbb kita suma bersaudara. Pasal penyakit tu,abg simpati. Berat mata memndang berat lg bahu Kimmy yg memikul. Nasihat abg,wat la treatment tu. Utamakan yg lebih utama. Kesihatan lebih penting dr belajar..btl tak?
K, kalaulah time kat mesir nnti tetiba penyakit tersebut menyerang dgn terok, tak ke bimbang family Kimmy. Dahla tambang nak ke sana tidak semurah nk pi kuala pilah. ssh pyh nnti nak ulang alik2 malaysia-mesir. Last2 pon kena wat treatment gak kan..btl tak? Kena fkr psl family gak.
Fikir sampai masak..
Kitorng rakan2 fasi senantiasa mendoakn kwn2 yg dlm kesusahan..
G0od Luckk..= )
Sekian..

abG Pat said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kimmy said...

salaam..
thanks pd echa n abg.pat yg bg komen..
huhu..mmg dah decide nk buat..
bile tu,,blom tau lg..kene appointment dgn pakar dlu..n cari tarikh yg sesuai..
kalo dlm mse 2-3 mggu ni pun lg bgus..ade lg byak mase nk recover..tp pape pn..sume tu rncangan je..kalo x diizinkn,nk buat cmne lg..huhu..
=)

Syairazi said...

kimmy~ [tgh baek x pnggel kimmyngal]
smoga sihat selalu..
jgn bnyk menyengalkan diri..
doa bnyk2..
Allah yg dtgkan pnyakit n Allah jualah yg mnyembuhkan penyakit..
bwat rawatan tu usaha kite..
n ingat..
sakit tu..
penghapus dosa..

C=

ust syai da beceramah~

Anonymous said...

perfect acting..
very good actress..
sorry to say diz but it`s true..
salute..

urm..
no matter what..
we belong to God..
whenever&whereever it is we`ll back to God..
but we must put an effort to live long..
hope recover soon..

anem (^^,) said...

yep btol...
undergo treatmt to dear,
life bukn memain...
u may decide to live ur parents a while (by going to mesir)
but do u really care about leaving 'em forever? (if the disease getting worse? nauzubillah,)
thn sakit utk skejap, hopfully xpyh lg nk thn sakit tiap2 kali sakit tu dtg...
kalo ade rezeki awk nk ke oversea takkan ke mane...

kak saidah said...

ASSALAMU'ALAIKUM
as your sister,,,
bilamana tak tao nak wat keputusan...
istikharahlah...
itu yang terbek..
apapun...
innallaha ma'ana..

aigNt said...

respec ue strong gurl!!!
hehe
hop bcome mor stronger...
heathier n ..blabla..

chaiyokk!!

^^

y or f said...

syg kim,
i dun noe wt 2 say...
mmmmmm...u make me...arghhh...speechless...
but...
be strong k gurl...
make me proud...make ur parents proud...kim bleh lwn penyakit nihh...no matter wt...ok??
then bru pk psl blaja ye cyg...
~85~

Kimmy said...

~[syai],[anonymous],[kak anem],[kak saidah],[aignt] n [yufi]~

thanks for the supports..
walaupn jauh d mate,,
time kasih jgk coz concern..
InsyaAllah,,sy kuat!

suzie rahman said...

salam kimmy.beratnya derita yg kamoo tanggung,sy tkt nk bc entry kamoo ni. sbb airmata sy mengalir.sian kan kamoo..sy ingt ms sy kna denggi dulu paling skit,rupanya...x! langsung x! derita yg kamoo tanggung lg hebat. suzie ingt jarum yg dicucuk pd suzie dh sakit.rupanya x!jarum yg terpksa kamoo tnggung lagi sakit! tabahkan aty dear.

Kimmy said...

haha.. it's okay.. lagipun semua ni dah hampir ke penghujungnya.. thanks~ ;)

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